Finances. It’s such a simple word. It can either make you shudder with fear or completely shrink you. Rarely, does one smile with joy or excitement when they hear the word “finances”.

I, like most women, have a fear-based mentality when it came to money. My fears weren’t about income, or the future though. I knew I could make more money. That I was capable of it. I was scared to make more because I was afraid it would lead to unhappiness.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve either seen people who make just enough to get by (but are happy with a life of love) or people who have more than enough but made their money doing careers that they didn’t love.

I was afraid that if I started to make more money, I would start to hate my work; or, hate my freelance work and the magazine. That fear caused me a lot of debt, caused pain to my husband, and made me embarrassed to go out. Finally, in the autumn of 2018, I tackled my issues with therapy, exercise, and coming to terms with all my insecurities. The funny thing is when you state your insecurities out loud, you name the beast. Instead of holding it in, you address it, you name it, and you solve it.

In 2019 I made more money. I am not “ballin’ out of control”, but I have made money doing things I love. Money has allowed me to be a better partner, show love to my loved ones, and build my wealth. I paid back my debt, started to invest in Ellevest, and created a savings account. Bonus- my credit score increased! Yes, these are all the things that I should have done earlier; but, it’s better late than ever.

Getting your finances in order requires you to address your financial roadblocks. Tackling my mental health around money was the thing that helped me get my finances in order.