Ha! I got you with that clickbait title, didn’t I? Hate, to break it to you but there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Why? Well, there is no such thing as perfect human beings. So in the traditional relationship, you have two imperfect people, trying to combine two lives into one life.

However, every year, I learn something new about Nicholas, our relationship and myself. This year, the biggest lesson I learned was to take breaks, not breaks from one another, breaks from the world. This year we have both pushed ourselves to the edge, mentally and emotionally, to become the professionals we want to be. We both are driven by power, and we don’t settle.

In the past, this has worked, because we would take turns. One of us would be going 100 miles per minute while the other is going 70. This year we were both going 120, and we started to run low on energy and therefore couldn’t be there for one another.

This year, we felt like we needed to be there for one another, we took quick vacations. A week in Brooklyn, before the madness of the summer began. A short break in Pismo after a month of events and job interviewing madness.

These getaways gave us a time to regroup, refuel, and reenergized. We were able to explore a new part of the country, make new memories, sleep until noon (which surprisingly both of our bodies needed), and communicate.

These trips were not spontaneous. We can sense that we were running low on energy. That if we continue on this path without a break, it can cause more harm.

We all know that most major problems in a relationship started off a small hiccup. So it’s best to drink water at the beginning instead of untangling a problem later on. Nothing’s worse than untangling a problem, and realizing that if you just said, “I love you,” two years ago in the middle of Target, you wouldn’t have a problem.

We discussed that we need a getaway for our relationship and ourselves. So a month before each of these trips, we planned it. Figured out our flights and Airbnb stays.

There is no secret. There is no one way to solve your problems. Just remember that it’s not all about you.