It’s December 2017, and I’ve been sick as a dog since November. Being the self-acclaimed, type-A, conqueror that I am, I neither had time to be sick nor did I need to slow down. My body, soul, and the universe thought otherwise. Now, this was not the first time my body had shut down before. I had graduated undergrad cum laude, with community service & student leadership on my resume, while simultaneously working one job and two side-hustles. But that was not enough. I decided to attend chiropractic school and tacked on another few years of chronic stress, tests, board exams and self-imposed pressure to be the perfect accomplisher of all things amazing. By the time I was married with a young baby, my body had gone into adrenal fatigue. I did not recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror. I had become overweight, depressed, depleted, and, most of all, exhausted.
I managed to get myself healthy again and soon enough I was back to work and ready to achieve, accomplish and dominate. My passion and drive are my finest feature. Why should I keep that from the world? Fast forward and my baby is now in third grade. I am working a full-time job with an hour commute each way plus my token side-hustles. And then, I get sick. I get sick worse than I ever had before. I got so sick that I had to take time off of work and I began to worry that I wasn’t going to get better this time.
I reached a point where I could no longer resist the cries from my body and soul to rest. And so, I allowed myself to rest and I began the slow process of healing from the inside-out. I reassessed my life and the origin of my “stress.” Although I immerse myself in spiritual books, practice yoga & meditation daily and live a holistic lifestyle, that was no match for the deep-rooted shame that fueled the negative thought patterns which drove my behavior to strive and accomplish in a desperate attempt to be good enough.
And so I thought, what if I spent the next year being grateful? How could my life change? What do I have to lose? It will be… My Gratitude Experiment!
I now begin each day writing about what I am grateful for. Twice throughout the day, I have an alarm set on my cell phone asking me what I love & what I am grateful for. In the evening I jot down what made me happy that day. In this first month, I find myself existing in a higher state of positivity and possibility. I am aware of the moments when I feel satisfied or accomplished. I relish the people that make me laugh. I experience love and appreciation for myself and others.
I am healing. I am loved. I am open to receiving the gifts of gratitude.