March was my birthday month. Three months in and how am I feeling? Appreciative, hopeful, humble.
It’s challenging to run a marathon of good feeling thoughts and feelings. It takes consistency. I’m not perfect at this, and it takes an immense amount of self-compassion for me to accept that. I like being perfect at things for a limited amount of time… and then starting a new project or goal that I can be perfect at again. Never quite sticking with something through the in-between periods or when it gets tough. Never quite facing the shadow side of myself for the long haul. It’s easier for me to move on to something new. In doing so, I can shine again.
To be consistent, I have to be accepting. Being accepting means that I have yielded my control. As a staunch perfectionist, I like hanging onto my sense of control. I have repeated and reflected this tendency in my career, relationships, and health. Consistency is not perfection. Consistency is my ability to maintain faith that tomorrow will turn around when today didn’t go as planned. Consistency, for me, is being able to accept that yesterday was perfect but today was out of my control. Consistency is allowing myself to let go and trust that I have done the footwork and that everything is working out in divine order.
My career is catapulting forward. When I speak my vision to others, they respond with resonating optimism. They reflect back to me that all the work I have put into my dreams is palpable and they are ready to support my efforts. Along the way, I want to shrink back into fear and feelings of unworthiness. And then I realize that I have been painstakingly working, planning and learning from my experiences all along and the time has come to allow it all to unfold. When I do that, it is effortless. The perfect ideas, people & opportunities come to me. And I sit there with my jaw hanging open in amazement.
Letting go, accepting, and receiving have been lessons this month. I have learned that in letting go of my perfectionism, I am better able to accept when circumstances are out of my control. And when I can ease into that, I am better able to receive an abundance of prosperity and love.