Every romantic comedy has the female protagonist go through a “single” time. A time to find themselves. It usually happens after a relationship or a string of one night stands gone bad. They are usually going through the stages that Dua Lipa sings about in “New Rules.”
Heartbreak doesn’t necessarily need to be a prelude to self-enlightenment. However, most people need their world to be shaken before they address their inner issues.
I do not like the term, “single” time. It diminishes all the other relationships one has in their life and just focuses on one’s romantic relationships. However, I truly believe one needs to learn how to be comfortable being alone.
We are social creatures by nature. It’s okay to be social, but if you validate your self-worth from what other people say, you will end up going in circles your whole life. Remember being alone does not mean you did something wrong. It means you are re-engaging with yourself.
Now finding yourself and being happy while doing it can be easy if you live in the woods by yourself without technology. But because you have to go to work, school, and see other human beings, it will be easy for you to fall into the “I’m Worthless” trap.
While doing some research on how to be happy being alone, I came across two articles1 that had some practical tips. Two that stuck out.
Be Cautious With Social Media: Yes social media is supposed to make us feel connected. But with each Instagram photo, Facebook Live, and Snapchat, you might start to feel like a failure. Like everyone is living a better life than you are. You need to take a break from social media and remember this important fact: SOCIAL MEDIA JUST SHOWS HIGHLIGHTS. You think I post photos of me in bed in my pj’s, with the makeup from the day before. No! I post the photo of me fully showered, with new makeup, and at dinner with friends. If you are going through a difficult time, limit your time on social media.
Deepen Relationships: With that toxic romantic relationship out of the way, you now have time to focus on your platonic relationships. One of my favorite sayings about friendships, is from Aristotle, “A friend to all, is a friend to none.” You can’t be friends with everyone. You will spread yourself thin, and not everyone is deserving of your time. So take the time to do more with your current relationship. For example, if you all you do is drink and eat out with your friends, take a trip somewhere. Do an activity like hiking, or sailing.
Being happy being alone does not mean you hate hanging out with people. In fact, you will be better company if you know how to self soothe. It will elevate the burden from other people. You don’t need them, you want them. Isn’t that healthier for everyone?
For more information check out these articles.