Once upon a time under the stars, a young couple named Sam and Ginger were reminiscing about their relationship. They discussed the common questions they were asked.
1) How did you two meet?
2) How do you know he/she was the one?
3) How do you make it work?
They knew everyone is curious about love and relationships. People since the beginning of time, have been constantly striving, wishing, praying, singing and hoping to find their true love.
Now Sam and Ginger knew that their advice was sometimes like ice cream on a hot day. Something to cool off the people and to show them there was still good in the world. They were honored that people deem them as relationship experts but they knew they didn’t know everything.
Ginger, ever the music fanatic, wished she could use music to showcase “relationship lessons”.
She decided Beyonce would be best to help describe their relationship and to illustrate the advice she wanted to give. Why Beyonce? Well when they first met, Beyonce album BDay just came out. And ever since then a lot of Queen B songs just fit their relationship at the time. She started to play a playlist in her mind…
2006 – Deja Vu
Ginger remembered working at the mall (er… the mall) and one day at work, she thought she saw Sam. But it turned out it wasn’t him. She realized then, she was hooked. She never wanted to see a guy so much. She would get giddy the second his shadow was 500 feet away from her.
Advice: If your whole being doesn’t light up when you see your new partner and you don’t wake up thinking about him or her then they don’t matter and they will never matter.
Trick: Unfortunately sometimes you can feel this way about a horrible person. So after three to four months if you start to feel less giddy and you start to see red flags RUN!
2008 – If I Were a Boy
It’s been said that, “No man is worth your tears, but once you find the one that is, he won’t make you cry.” Ginger laughed at this. Really? Relationships are tough as hell and will make you cry. Sam had made Ginger cry multiple times but she had learned that the difference between being brought to tears by a boy and being brought to tears by a man. The difference is that a man would cry and feel horrible about what he did. You can see the regret in their eyes. They don’t just apologize they actually self-reflect and figure out what they did wrong. They also speak up and let you know what you can do better.
Advice: He will make you cry. You will make him cry. It’s about finding a solution, common ground and also deciding if it’s worth finding a solution for.
Side Note: You need to know when to throw in the towel.
Ginger had always told Sam he was her angel. For a person that didn’t attend church much and found the bible a difficult book to read, she did believe in “gifts from God”. Usually for her those gifts were a sunny day, the way the wind made trees dance, her sisters’ laughter but never a boy. But when Sam came into her life, she knew this was her ultimate gift from God. Her soul mate made just for her. Created just for her. As corny and as Christianmingle.com as that sound, she knew she could never turn her back on Sam. It would be like re-gifting a gift from God.
Advice: Your life just needs to feel truly blessed after meeting this person. Lucky even. You don’t need to believe in God or any religion for that matter, but you do need to have some inner peace when you meet this person.
2011 – Love On Top
The moment in a relationship when you both hit that maturity point and not only put each first but are comfortable with it. Ginger loved watching Sam grow into a man. She also loved watching herself grow into a woman. She truly knew what it meant to “choose your battles”. It wasn’t about defeat, it was about realizing huffing and puffing was not going to bring the house down; that acting a certain way was just damn foolish.
Advice: Any successful relationship needs to have both parties put the other person first. That doesn’t mean forget about your friends. Your partner would want you to have friends and promote your lifestyle. They want you to go out and do well. They will put your “love on top”.
2013 – Partition and Drunk In Love
Currently Ginger and Sam are both in the work hard/play hard phase in their lives. Both are building their mini empires, networking, grad school, family commitments and remembering friends. With so much stress, they need to unwind. After so many years they both still find each other so damn sexy. She knew first hand that it’s wonderful being scandalous with a complete stranger at a bar, but it’s sooooooo much better when it’s your soul mate.
Advice: To be frank, never end up with someone that you don’t find attractive. It can lead to dangerous adventures and always keep it sexy. Remember people divorce (and maybe break up) over two reasons the most, finances and sex. Yes the world is about money and sex. Deal with it.
THIS ADVICE IS MEANT FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE IN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS OR ARE SINGLE. IF YOU ARE IN A REALTIONSHIP THAT IS ABUSIVE IN ANYWAY, PLEASE FIND RESOURCES AND LEAVE THAT PERSON. NO EXCUSE IS WORTH A BLACK EYE OR THREATS.
Hugs and Smiles,